Happy Home-Schooling

Homeschool, in retrospect might appear like an individual sport where kids are trapped at home all day without options for socialization. Our experience, however has been the opposite. In addition to having freedom to create our own daily schedule, we are only at home for the time it takes kids to complete basic academic criteria. In fact, so many activities exist for homeschoolers in the community that we've thoughtfully scaled back to ensure we don’t become overwhelmed. Early exercise is followed by chores, then academics which rotate daily. Group sports, co-ops, youth groups, art classes, and piano also rotate to help keep days unique and exciting. Reflection journals with creative writing prompts allow students an opportunity to brainstorm thoughts and consider goals.

The most common question I receive when discussing homeschool with non-homeschooling families is, "what about fun events like prom"? A solution the Charlotte community has embraced to solve the dilemma of organized engagements is to host bi-weekly social dances where 100-200 high school aged homeschool students gather to learn line dances, swing and waltz, led by an Arthur Murray pro. Young men ask ladies to dance, escort them to the dance floor, then return them back once the song ends. Parents are welcome to observe and volunteers help ensure a safe, comfortable environment where kids confidently engage with one another.

Many students who attend the social dances are also involved in a homeschool musical theatre program called Eagles Wings, where students learn to sing from a professional operatic vocalist. Homeschool bible studies, writing classes, and American Sign Language are also popular group class options.

The second question I receive regarding homeschooling is, "what curriculum do you follow"? The state of North Carolina requires families to register their own schools where students follow any curriculum the parent chooses. Options might include online courses, workbooks, in-person instruction through co-ops, or dual enrollment in the community college. During the beginning of Covid, Bookshark.com was a great resource for curricular insights. Unschooling is an alternative option where students learn trades from their surroundings in place of formal academics. The only requirement of substance required in North Carolina is that the students take a standardized test at the end of each school year. Transcripts filled out by the school’s administrator (aka the parent) at the completion of high school is the student’s ticket to enroll for college, if they haven’t already earned an AA degree through the community college. All forms and information is available online at https://ncadmin.nc.gov/divisions/non-public-education/home-schools.

My youngest son, AJ who is 8 opted for public school this year because he enjoys playing with kids all day and sharing in the excitement of elementary school. His invitation to participate in homeschool with his teenage siblings was offered, but in the end we knew AJ would choose traditional school for now. For my older kids, ages 12 and 14, their decision to continue in public school changed after 6th grade. Throughout the middle school day, classes change several times, each encompassing new students and it felt overwhelming for them. Additionally, once puberty set in many of their previously friendly relationships altered. The late school hours, returning home at 5pm also made the kids feel less willing to participate in extra curricular activities.

The biggest kicker though was how the current generation completes studies predominantly online, then interact with friends online after school making for long days filled with technology from the moment they wake up until they go to sleep at night. While it seems like technology can be easily removed for social interactions, this is not the world in which we currently live. My personal solution has been to remove technology during school hours, opting for curriculum through books and allowing marginal screen time once schoolwork and extra curricular activities have been completed. Parental controls on phones and iPads, and limiting supervised social media usage have been key in keeping conversations open regarding these extreme changes which weren’t relevant just 20 years ago.

For current generations, arts and home economic subjects have dwindled in most curricula, yet these are the subjects in which our homeschool experience thrives. Reading aloud, singing in choir, pre-professional level ballet instruction, baking as a business, and daily art projects, in addition to regular culinary lessons, and required cleaning leave very little time for shenanigans. However, weekly field trips and time for reflective relaxation are my favorite family pastimes.

No lifestyle is perfect for every family because every family is different. Teaching my own kids has been easy because I’m a trained teacher, and teachers are capable of teaching anything with enough stamina and drive. Mutual respect, kind language, and considerate learning habits help keep the work environment positive. I am also currently a graduate student, so I work while they work and I read while they read.

The biggest challenge for me in the homeschool experience is to avoid parenting, in the traditional nagging sense. Armed with agendas, dietary options, and daily goals, I have to give myself permission to let the kids thrive independently without constant reminders to complete tasks and cleanup. American children normally reside at home until they are 18-20 years old before moving out to pursue careers or college. Relishing in this time together has been a gift. While no home environment is perfect, this arrangement has been perfect for us.