The Art of Boredom

It’s that time of year when kids are privileged to experience one of my favorite past times: The Art of Boredom.  During the academic year, we all become plagued with obligations to complete and tasks of all shapes and sizes, from school to sports, jobs, appointments, and extravagant holidays.  However, once Independence Day comes and goes, day camps conclude and we take a break before the next trip, or the new school year peaks its head, each day can be embraced as a clean slate to explore the unknown. We're rarely granted adequate time for absolute nothingness in our culture of go-go-go, but for a stretch each summer, I like to ensure that nothing is planned and we can take every day as it comes.

While I enjoy all of the people and activities associated with annual events, recovery from stints of chaos is necessary before returning to regular life with vigor.  Kids often express negative feelings toward boredom, but I am always prepared to offer options for creative expression, exercise, brain games, and lazy day shenanigans.  The most difficult obstacle for the current generation is peeling their eyes from electronics long enough to become truly free to explore.  More difficult is the commitment to follow suit and put down my own phone/laptop and go be bored, too.

The Art of Boredom- Options for conquering the day without obligation:

(always preferable with a friend, even if that friend has fur)

1. Go outside- Simply leaving the house opens new doors to options that weren’t available before taking that leap.  Even if staying close to home, there are always things to do: Walk, bike, swim, garden, scooter, skate, sports, read, get lost, or climb a tree.

2. Explore- The good news is that we have plenty of dogs at our house who anxiously wait for a walk, leading exploration through the trails.  While the safety of exploring independently is not always feasible for young chaps, motivation for adults to get out and investigate collaboratively expands the choices exponentially, including: Museums, festivals, zoos, parks, beaches, mountains, shops, restaurants, bowling allies, skating arenas, water adventures, or trips on airplanes.

3. Exercise- The issue with avoiding physical health entirely for any stretch of time is that it’s easy to fall into the negative pit of lethargic overeating, oversleeping, and grumpy hormones.  While it seems obvious to exercise everyday at some capacity, embracing boredom can often be overlooked as laziness, when really it's time away from obligation allowing for new adventures to take course.

4. Create- Without the restraint of deadlines, we're able to explore artistically in any form we choose.  The categories of art that exist and methods in which we engage each genre of art are a means to endless satisfaction.  For example, my son, Will has become a master in the exploration of diverse art forms that currently include: yo-yoing, drawing, building fingerboards and ramps, playing guitar, making fresh pasta, bird training, all things with wheels, film-making, and bottle flipping.  Will is constantly asking me to help him with a new project that he wants to investigate.  Meanwhile, my daughter Suki prefers a few select endeavors that she engulfs herself with at professional-level capacities, including: ballet, piano, baking, and art.  While Suki's list of objectives is shorter than Will's, her determination in each subject is admirable and shows her perfectionist character.  There is no right or wrong way to explore creative outlets available. The most important task is to try.

5. Learn- During the course of a lifetime, it’s impossible to know everything, even about a single topic because the branches that extend from any one subject continues to grow.  This means that there is always something new to research.  While reading books offers the most basic method of learning about ourselves and the world we live in, so many routes can be utilized to investigate and discover topics that peek our curiosity most.

While the 5 topics mentioned above are merely umbrellas over the infinite endeavors possible, the point is to treasure what little time we are given.  Finding passion in days that might otherwise become lost, in turn gives relief to challenges that will inevitably occur.

Roller Boogie and Marriage

Today is my 18th Wedding Anniversary.  Dennis and I were married on April 16, 2006 in Daytona Beach, FL at “Tavern in the Green,” an outdoor venue with a chapel and tavern amongst a huge garden on the intercostal waterway.  My Grammie Bim was in attendance wearing her white gloves and pearls, as well as the rest of our families who traveled from near and far to celebrate our union on Easter Sunday.   

I met Dennis (then “DJ”) for the first time in 1997 after my parents purchased Ormond Lanes, a bowling center in Ormond Beach, FL that came with an adjacent roller skating rink.  I was 14 years old and selling glow sticks during an All-Night-Skate when he walked over to me and asked for my phone number, like a sly fox.  While I declined, flirtations continued and he was hired by my mom to work at the rink the following year.  Dennis would skate by my sound booth every week with a folded note (because texting didn’t exist) and I would conclude each session with “Because I love you,” by Stevie B (the postman song).

I remember our first date at Denny’s, the classiest of joints where I laughed until soda spewed out of my nostrils.  Our childhood experiences could not have been more different.  Where he grew up with very little in a trailer filled with 9 people, I grew up in a mansion on the river with yachts and private airplanes.  The evolvement of our friendship, however had very little to do with our home lives.  When we are together, we are on a different planet.  Where we are different, we are also the same.

After dating for 6 years, since the year 2000 and living together since 2002 with several roommates and an awesome nephew whom we adopted, it felt like the right time to tie the knot.  We danced to “My best friend,” by Tim McGraw and partied the night away.  We have kept each other afloat during family deaths and celebrated endless holidays, and over time we built our own little island that formed over years of ups and downs.

Throughout the years, I have learned a few key things about long term relationships.  The first is that no matter what, giving up isn’t the answer.  While everyone has disagreements, in the end we know when to push and when to give each other space.  While we can both be stubborn and decisive, we are also caring and capable of compromise.  We have learned to talk more and give each other the time and support we require to be successful individually.  And when it comes to our kids, we are equally responsible every step of the way.

Last Christmas, my mom passed some family jewelry down to me that she no longer wanted and among the boxes was a diamond from the 1800s that was attached to a tie bar with an engraving.  Dennis had the diamond reset in an engagement ring and presented it to me asking for a renewal of vows on our 20th anniversary.  Meticulous human that he is, Dennis wrapped the box flawlessly with crisp edges and seamless perfection. 

Why he feels so comfortable with this free-floating, unconventional artist by his side is beyond me, however I feel lucky every day to be his wife.

Video Game Pandemic

I remember very specifically when I played video games for the first time.  It was 1990, I was 8 years old and at my friend, Jenny’s house where her brother was playing Mario 1 and Duck Hunt in the basement.  That was back when the whole neighborhood would show up randomly to hang out without knocking, making sure to grab a snack on their way downstairs.  What started with a few kids playing became 10 excited friends taking turns and cheering while they waited for someone else to “die”.  Seemingly simple challenges turned into a full day of strategy and healthy competition.

With 2 older brothers at home, video games were always around after that- Mario, Mortal Kombat, Zelda, Donkey Kong.  A few arcade games lived upstairs too, like Space Invaders where we could hang out while waiting to play pool.

As products of the 80s, we can only motivate our kids to play games like we did, although to be honest, today’s games have surpassed my interest, progressing to a level of complication that no longer looks appealing (IMO).  Although break out some Guitar Hero, Mario 3, or Tetris and I’m game.

What amazes me most now is how video games popular to the youngest generation requires social media to interact.  It’s become necessary for players to remain at home instead of sneaking into each other’s basements.  What was once a social activity has become an antisocial obsession where kids no longer go outside at all, but hoard themselves within bedrooms, closed off from the outside world.

Last week while at his friends house, Will called me to pick him up so he and Finn could play video games.  It took my brain a moment to understand the request.  While my generation would have preferred staying at a friend’s house until the end of time, kids now have to stay home in order to interact.  This is the world we live in.

How can we get back to where we were, if it’s even possible.  At this rate, kids will likely continue to move further away from playing outside and interacting in person until the only place they converse is via FaceTime.  After all, schooling is already predominately online, even when they attend in person.

Our power went out for a number of hours recently. Coming out of the Covid 19 pandemic, my kids and I began to wonder if losing power globally might be the next mass crisis.  Sadly, I believe that only something so severe would force the relief needed from this electronically prescribed lifestyle. 

College students would no longer have online options to earn a degree, corporate employees would return to conference rooms, churches would no longer have the ability to live stream spiritual services, and kids would need to find an alternative means to socialize, perhaps resorting to play outside.