As someone who attended Catholic school growing up, I have lots of experience with saying yes... to all things. Yes to charity, yes to helping others, and yes to volunteering whenever asked. While it might sound glamorous to have attended private school, the reality is that Catholic schools in particular are generally very stark: white cement walls, Terrazzo floors, and wooden furniture which dates back to the 60s. Air conditioning was a new thing even though we were in Florida and the amenities were not vast.
Priests and nuns were present but it was rare that we had time to converse. Most interactions were bowing when they passed in the hallway saying, “good morning Father.” It was a place of respect and reverence. God was always watching and it was our duty to become the best versions of ourselves, in study and in social practices.
There were no physical fights that I was aware of and while uniforms were required, I found them easy. There was no reason to fuss over what we wore or need to keep up with trends. While they were comically ugly, made by a company called Elder Wear, it was easy to get dressed in the morning and there was no judgment because everyone wore the same thing.
When it comes to giving back to the community, volunteering is the easiest method, aside from giving money. In my time as a parent, I have served as a Girl Scout and Boy Scout troop leader, a catechist teaching Catholicism during Sunday school, Swim team coordinator, attempted PTO gal (though far too political for my taste), social committee chair of my neighborhood putting on community events, DJ for charity fundraisers, and multitudes of other roles just by saying yes when asked. The issue with the “Yes Hole” is there’s really no end.
Committing time to volunteering takes dedication and stepping away can be challenging because it seems that most people aren’t raised in the same manner where they are accustomed to saying yes without much thought. **No is the default.
The truth is that by saying yes, I’ve been able to meet so many wonderful human beings while donating my time to worthwhile causes. I even met my best friend by signing up to be her unknowing room parent. If I had said no, none of those experiences would’ve happened. It’s amazing what possibilities lay ahead when we take a chance. Putting faith into stepping forward and learning new skills alters what we are capable of accomplishing.
After six years of being the social committee chair in my neighborhood I’m stepping away, not because I necessarily want to, but because it feels like it’s time to put more effort into accepting jobs that pay for my never-ending training. I feel selfish to say that out loud, but it’s true. It’s time for others to step in while I step back and pass in my clubhouse keys. But will anyone step forward? Are kids still learning to say yes by watching us do so first? How else will they learn to give?
The biggest question is how long will people be able to volunteer with things like inflation and societal greed, deciding that maybe giving time isn’t worthwhile? As a professional artist, I’ve been reminded to “know my worth” and that I can’t give my time for free forever, even if I want to.
But what really is the difference between working for pay and working for free? Skills are required for any task no matter how mundane, if we are trained in that role through school or through experience. How much volunteering is “the right amount” anyway? And the biggest question of all is, how can we expect others to volunteer if we aren’t capable of doing it ourselves?
Let’s see how long this unpresidented break from volunteering lasts. To test it out, ask me to help. I probably won’t say no.
❤️❤️❤️