Floridians Gone Wild

Our friend, Grant moved to NC on New Years Eve.  Our long time former roommate has popped in and out of living with us over the years, knowing that he is always welcome for short or long term stays.  Grant, or “Grannie” as he has been affectionately nicknamed will one day become a very cratchety senior citizen, but is like family and has always been easy to live with- easy conversation, goes with the flow, and entertainingly gets along with pretty much anyone.

The first time Grant moved in with us was after high school.  Dennis and I had an apartment in Hollywood, FL while I was attending Barry University.  To clarify, I am a year older than my male roommates and this was my 3rd college out of 8.  We invited Grant to live in the extra bedroom and the following day we went to pick him up.  Like any 18 year old guy, nothing was packed.  We grabbed boxes and unceremoniously added his belongings to the truck.  Hanging out with Grant this week, who came up for work is moving from Wellington near West Palm Beach to Mount Airy, NC and has inspired me to transcribe many of the life skills we learned from years of Florida living.

Having survived in Florida from age 10-34 everywhere from the Daytona Beach area, to Tampa, the panhandle, and South Florida, we have picked up a few methods for existing in the sunshine state that might be appreciated by anyone who has lived or visited Florida.  This is the sunshine state where it always rains.  It wouldn’t be the tropics without a heavy dose of daily precipitation to bring out the rainbows and keep all the palm trees thriving, which I will add are filled with an array of rodents and shed more than my collie.  And with that, here are a few methods for surviving in Florida:

10 things Floridians learn from living in the tropics:

1. Get ready to sweat- While everything south of Vero Beach is considered tropical and north of that line is subtropical, there is no escaping the damp heat that covers the state in a blanket of hot.  In high school, dance team practices would take place on the black parking lot for three hours afterschool, from 3-6pm. During that time of day, steam would visually lift from the pavement into the atmosphere.  The sexy leotard and biker short attire would contribute to tan lines that wouldn’t go away without effort.

Going through life in a layer of sweat is just part of being a Floridian.  Wearing a “sweatshirt,” also know as a “wife beater,” or tank top is worn under clothing to capture the sweat making moisture less apparent, but will undoubtedly be soaked after a short walk around the block.  One of the most interesting memories I have from moving to North Carolina was washing the car and realizing I wasn’t sweating when the task was complete.  It felt like a miracle had occurred. Turning purple while gardening and cooling off by hurling myself into the pool fully dressed felt natural in Florida and is another fond memory of coping in the extreme heat. While I still tend to feel overheated easily now living in North Carolina after excessive exercise outdoors, it doesn’t happen as often as it had in while outside in Miami.

2. Surviving hurricanes- I realize having a fear of hurricanes is a deterrent for people considering a move to Florida and for good reason.  With that said, buildings in the line of fire tend to be constructed differently in order to sustain extreme winds.  Habits like tossing patio furniture in the pool to prevent them from sailing away and hunkering down in the open garage to observe the excitement of palm fronds running loose are examples of methods for coping with the rare, yet common occurrences.  If you’ve watched the movie, Forest Gump, the scene where Tom Hanks trudges through a variety of rain feels like an excellent example of the stages of precipitation in Florida. While I have a plethora of stories involving torrential downpours, one regular occurrence took place when driving from Daytona Beach west toward Orlando and not being able to physically see through the windshield because the rain was so thick.  Surprisingly, only tourists are smart enough to pull over and utilize hazard lights in this weather.  What do the locals do?  “I’ll be able to see when I get there.”

3. Let’s go to the beach!- The best time to visit the beach in Florida is everyday or absolutely never.  While it seems like hurricane season might be a time to avoid the beach, wind generally brings relief from the heat in addition to larger waves that create better surfing conditions.  The winter months might feel cold everywhere else, but the outside weather in Florida feels most acceptable in the winter when it’s a tad less than 100 degrees.

Avoiding skin cancer might be the biggest reason to avoid the beach.  While at one time I would sport a bathing suit and hang out on the sand all day, the need to wear long sleeves, protecting against carcinomas has prevailed.  People watching and body surfing may never get old, but relaxation goes out the window once kids get involved and leisurely beach time turns into a battle of sand, not drowning, and watching out for jellyfish, preventing all hope for r and r.

4. Melting groceries- As someone who strives to accomplish too many tasks during the day, sometimes my need for laziness takes over.  With that said, laziness cannot happen after grocery shopping in Florida.  Getting food to the car and in the fridge before items spoil or melt is a trick.  As a long time Girl Scout leader, transporting cookies from the car after each booth took some planning to avoid boxes of thin mints melting.

A benefit I found from living further north is that if water is left in the car in the morning, it might still be drinkable in the afternoon, unless you enjoy drinking warm water from a hot bottle.  We are, after all part of the generation who drank from the hose and needed to let it run momentarily before cold water would come out.

5. Senior citizen tendencies- Florida is a playground for lots of varieties of human, and known to be a desirable location to retire. The other day my friend, Susan commented that I (at 41 years old) have tendencies of someone who is 80 and I couldn’t disagree: my loose filter often points out when items have been changed or moved (especially in church where we thrive on tradition and repetition), I pay little attention to other people’s opinions about my person (I judge myself enough already), I also exist with constant paranoia of being robbed, an appreciation for history and antiques, and feel content sitting for lengths of time to take in my surroundings.  It made me think, is this a Floridian trait?  The longer we live in an area heavily populated with certain categories of people, isn’t it only natural that we gain a better understanding of their habits?  In addition to seniors, FL is also a playground to carnies and artists with its abundance of theme parks, cruise ports, and other job opportunities in the arts.

6. Disney tricks- What is there to say about the theme parks in Florida?  These were field trips as kids, a workplace in my 20s, and will forever hold a place in my heart.  Floridians know all of the tricks for visiting theme parks.  It’s like one of the tests to becoming a true resident.  One of the best perks to living in FL is the “resident discount” to theme parks. When we moved to North Carolina, we ceased visiting Disney World for this reason alone.  Who pays full price to visit Disney World?  Apparently, everyone does and with super passes and meal plans and resort stays to boot!  In fact, something I discovered after moving out-of-state was that Disney planners exist, as in a job for organizing trips to Disney!  For my Florida friends, please take a moment to take that in.

7. Little Havana- For anyone who lives in the general area between Weat Palm Beach and Miami, you might realize the multitude of, international residents that abound.  Dropping by a grocery store south of Fort Lauderdale, you will most likely be greeted in Espangnol.  While I always found this particular quirk endearing, I know it tends to irk residents who are forced to speak in Spanish on a regular basis, especially since most resident Floridians don’t speak Spanish. My thoughts on the topic are that knowing the majority of South Florida is made up of Hispanic population, if you don’t like being called a “gringa,” maybe it’s time to move. Another perk to living in a state with a disproportionate number of immigrants is that not everyone understands that the highway isn’t a a sidewalk.  Watching people walk across the turnpike like there’s an invisible crosswalk sends me into immediate prayer-mode.

8. NASCAR and Bike Week- Venturing south of Jacksonville, you might notice that while you’re driving the required speed limit, your car is being passed by low riders and trucks pushing 100 mph.  This is because Floridians feel like NASCAR speed is “going with the speed of traffic” on the highway.

In high school, my brother Jeff and I would drive from New Smyrna Beach 30 minutes north to our school in Daytona Beach which was located just past the Pink Pony off Ridgewood Rd, as many Catholic schools seem to be placed in the ghetto apparently.  My brother could get us to school in 10 minutes with bass thumping in the trunk to the point where we’re both no longer hearing properly.  Yet, I don’t recall ever being pulled over for going 120 mph during our morning quests.  Bike Week (as in motor cycles, not bicycles) is a beast of a festival on its own that takes place in Daytona Beach twice annually and I never suggest anyone attend unless you’d like to be traumatized for life.  You have been warned.

9. Everyone is a hippie- If you ever have the privilege of meeting someone from Florida, you might notice they are extremely laid back.  I’m not sure if it’s from being overheated all the time or overstimulated from all of the oddities we’ve become accustomed to experiencing, but it’s a fact.  In order to survive a trip to the sunshine state, it’s critical to take all expectations and priorities down a notch because the locals are not going to accommodate your timeline.  While I use the term “laid back” and not “lazy” this is because most Floridians are driven, ambitious individuals who have also realized that everything is likely not going to go as planned.  Things happen and we learn to roll with it.

10. Lizards roam free- The lizards are something I’ll never get used to.  You’re brushing your teeth and something slimy runs across the top of your foot unexpectedly.  I will jump every time.  The most surprising thing about the amphibian situation in Florida is its variety.  Iguanas stuck to the side of the house or the car can cause dilemmas, as well as the “Jesus lizards” that decide to run across the pool at random.  Aside from the fear of alligators, Kamodo dragons are absolutely incredible to encounter.

I’m out at the nursery to select a few more tropical plants for the garden and freaking POOF!  That bad boy is staring at me across the fence.  Nope!

Returning to the fear of alligators however, I have a theory that the reason Disney chooses to leave its abandoned parks in shambles to deteriorate instead of disposing of its remnants like anyone else is a fear of alligators.  Discovery Cove is located on an island near Animal Kingdom.  Once a thriving water park, the slides have been overtaken by the elements and left to rot.  Is it laziness or lack of funding, or a fear of roaming predators?

I’m sure that everyone has remearkabke stories to describe their longtime homes, from small towns to bustling cities and all of its eccentricities.  I may have been born in Georgia, but  Florida will always be home.  It will also always feel entertained when a Floridian is asked to speak on the news because lord only knows what words will express their feelings on the situation.  After all, there are many personalities to choose from in a state made up of such vast contradiction.  Adapting to our surroundings, like a chameleon is only natural and at this point in life I’m enjoying the surroundings of suburban North Carolina where people use turn signals and the kids can ride bikes to the store without worry.

The Yes Hole (and volunteerism)

As someone who attended Catholic school growing up, I have lots of experience with saying yes... to all things. Yes to charity, yes to helping others, and yes to volunteering whenever asked. While it might sound glamorous to have attended private school, the reality is that Catholic schools in particular are generally very stark: white cement walls, Terrazzo floors, and wooden furniture which dates back to the 60s. Air conditioning was a new thing even though we were in Florida and the amenities were not vast.

Priests and nuns were present but it was rare that we had time to converse. Most interactions were bowing when they passed in the hallway saying, “good morning Father.” It was a place of respect and reverence. God was always watching and it was our duty to become the best versions of ourselves, in study and in social practices.

There were no physical fights that I was aware of and while uniforms were required, I found them easy. There was no reason to fuss over what we wore or need to keep up with trends. While they were comically ugly, made by a company called Elder Wear, it was easy to get dressed in the morning and there was no judgment because everyone wore the same thing.

When it comes to giving back to the community, volunteering is the easiest method, aside from giving money. In my time as a parent, I have served as a Girl Scout and Boy Scout troop leader, a catechist teaching Catholicism during Sunday school, Swim team coordinator, attempted PTO gal (though far too political for my taste), social committee chair of my neighborhood putting on community events, DJ for charity fundraisers, and multitudes of other roles just by saying yes when asked. The issue with the “Yes Hole” is there’s really no end.

Committing time to volunteering takes dedication and stepping away can be challenging because it seems that most people aren’t raised in the same manner where they are accustomed to saying yes without much thought. **No is the default.

The truth is that by saying yes, I’ve been able to meet so many wonderful human beings while donating my time to worthwhile causes. I even met my best friend by signing up to be her unknowing room parent. If I had said no, none of those experiences would’ve happened. It’s amazing what possibilities lay ahead when we take a chance. Putting faith into stepping forward and learning new skills alters what we are capable of accomplishing.

After six years of being the social committee chair in my neighborhood I’m stepping away, not because I necessarily want to, but because it feels like it’s time to put more effort into accepting jobs that pay for my never-ending training. I feel selfish to say that out loud, but it’s true. It’s time for others to step in while I step back and pass in my clubhouse keys. But will anyone step forward? Are kids still learning to say yes by watching us do so first? How else will they learn to give?

The biggest question is how long will people be able to volunteer with things like inflation and societal greed, deciding that maybe giving time isn’t worthwhile? As a professional artist, I’ve been reminded to “know my worth” and that I can’t give my time for free forever, even if I want to.

But what really is the difference between working for pay and working for free? Skills are required for any task no matter how mundane, if we are trained in that role through school or through experience. How much volunteering is “the right amount” anyway? And the biggest question of all is, how can we expect others to volunteer if we aren’t capable of doing it ourselves?

Let’s see how long this unpresidented break from volunteering lasts. To test it out, ask me to help. I probably won’t say no.

Gift Wrapped with a Bow

Double-sided tape.  This is the trick to seamless, beautiful gift wrap.  I’m not particularly creative with this process.  There’s no origami or folded pockets to hold a greeting card.  However, presenting creative finds to family and friends requires an appealing presentation, the same way cakes require cake boards and boxes, and choreographic masterpieces are nothing without costuming and lights.

Excessive amounts of effort go into choosing gifts.  Theming gifts is another strategy I’ve adopted to create care packages vs sticking a single item in a bag, which might not receive the same effect.  For example, it’s impossible for me to give a baby gift without including a guide book to parenting and a few other items I found useful along the way.  If I know someone likes unicorns, I will likely include an extravagant horn crown along with whimsically magical worry beads and unicorn flavored tea.  It seems that 3-5 gifts make for a completely packaged presentation.  And while I personally love receiving gift cards, giving them has become a painful reality, but still should probably be paired with similarly lazy gifts like candy or a high five.

No matter the original packaging, my protocol is to generally re-box the treasures in a less obviously shaped box filled with tissue paper and taped shut like Fort Knox.  There was a time when I worked for an exceptionally whimsical children’s store called The Silly Dilly Tot Spot in Tampa.  https://www.sillydillys.com The owner, Kate is herself an enchantingly wonderful human who keeps everything chaotically, yet meticulously placed in every nook and cranny.  She taught me to move things out of the way while vacuuming and to not simply go around the clutter.  She also taught me that presentation is everything.  Packaging sales was like giving customers a present before they left the store.  During the holidays and for birthdays, we offered a gift wrapping service that I remember taking very seriously.  Wrapping presents on a regular basis became an enjoyable reprieve while not rushed.  It gave me an opportunity to shenanigan with customers and help make them feel at home in the charming shop.

In addition to using double-sided tape and measuring the perfect amount of paper, folds look best when crisp.  It only takes a moment to reinforce edges but makes the world of difference, like placing shoes on a rack instead of allowing them to pile up on the closet floor.  Once covered with paper, I feel like a bow requires ribbon.  The ribbon can be anything from string to satin, but somehow the bow always look better with a secure backdrop.

Cards are my mortal enemy because I’m just terrible at them.  Some people, like my eloquent husband are marvelous at choosing something with sentiment and humor and write poetry inside to express warm sentiments.  If I could stick a hug on a gift instead of a card, this would be preferable.  For someone who doesn’t think of himself as romantic, the man can write a card.  He’s the kind of person who rinses the lid of an ice cream container so frost doesn’t create unwanted ice in the dessert.  I eat ice cream with a fork and search for all the candy pieces before leaving the left over vanilla in the freezer.

As far as cards go on gifts, please attach them somehow.  Leaving the envelope not-so-neatly tucked under the ribbon will likely fall off and the recipient may think the unicorn collection arrived from a sarcastic brother instead of a like-minded lover of magic.  Somehow these tiny efforts, essential to gift wrapping are gestures of love.  Ornamentation attempts, no matter how they’re received are given with heart-felt affection.  Presenting efforts with stunningly encompassed admiration along with a little bit of tape and string is just one more way to share a hug.