Happy Home-Schooling

Homeschool, in retrospect might appear like an individual sport where kids are trapped at home all day without options for socialization. Our experience, however has been the opposite. In addition to having freedom to create our own daily schedule, we are only at home for the time it takes kids to complete basic academic criteria. In fact, so many activities exist for homeschoolers in the community that we've thoughtfully scaled back to ensure we don’t become overwhelmed. Early exercise is followed by chores, then academics which rotate daily. Group sports, co-ops, youth groups, art classes, and piano also rotate to help keep days unique and exciting. Reflection journals with creative writing prompts allow students an opportunity to brainstorm thoughts and consider goals.

The most common question I receive when discussing homeschool with non-homeschooling families is, "what about fun events like prom"? A solution the Charlotte community has embraced to solve the dilemma of organized engagements is to host bi-weekly social dances where 100-200 high school aged homeschool students gather to learn line dances, swing and waltz, led by an Arthur Murray pro. Young men ask ladies to dance, escort them to the dance floor, then return them back once the song ends. Parents are welcome to observe and volunteers help ensure a safe, comfortable environment where kids confidently engage with one another.

Many students who attend the social dances are also involved in a homeschool musical theatre program called Eagles Wings, where students learn to sing from a professional operatic vocalist. Homeschool bible studies, writing classes, and American Sign Language are also popular group class options.

The second question I receive regarding homeschooling is, "what curriculum do you follow"? The state of North Carolina requires families to register their own schools where students follow any curriculum the parent chooses. Options might include online courses, workbooks, in-person instruction through co-ops, or dual enrollment in the community college. During the beginning of Covid, Bookshark.com was a great resource for curricular insights. Unschooling is an alternative option where students learn trades from their surroundings in place of formal academics. The only requirement of substance required in North Carolina is that the students take a standardized test at the end of each school year. Transcripts filled out by the school’s administrator (aka the parent) at the completion of high school is the student’s ticket to enroll for college, if they haven’t already earned an AA degree through the community college. All forms and information is available online at https://ncadmin.nc.gov/divisions/non-public-education/home-schools.

My youngest son, AJ who is 8 opted for public school this year because he enjoys playing with kids all day and sharing in the excitement of elementary school. His invitation to participate in homeschool with his teenage siblings was offered, but in the end we knew AJ would choose traditional school for now. For my older kids, ages 12 and 14, their decision to continue in public school changed after 6th grade. Throughout the middle school day, classes change several times, each encompassing new students and it felt overwhelming for them. Additionally, once puberty set in many of their previously friendly relationships altered. The late school hours, returning home at 5pm also made the kids feel less willing to participate in extra curricular activities.

The biggest kicker though was how the current generation completes studies predominantly online, then interact with friends online after school making for long days filled with technology from the moment they wake up until they go to sleep at night. While it seems like technology can be easily removed for social interactions, this is not the world in which we currently live. My personal solution has been to remove technology during school hours, opting for curriculum through books and allowing marginal screen time once schoolwork and extra curricular activities have been completed. Parental controls on phones and iPads, and limiting supervised social media usage have been key in keeping conversations open regarding these extreme changes which weren’t relevant just 20 years ago.

For current generations, arts and home economic subjects have dwindled in most curricula, yet these are the subjects in which our homeschool experience thrives. Reading aloud, singing in choir, pre-professional level ballet instruction, baking as a business, and daily art projects, in addition to regular culinary lessons, and required cleaning leave very little time for shenanigans. However, weekly field trips and time for reflective relaxation are my favorite family pastimes.

No lifestyle is perfect for every family because every family is different. Teaching my own kids has been easy because I’m a trained teacher, and teachers are capable of teaching anything with enough stamina and drive. Mutual respect, kind language, and considerate learning habits help keep the work environment positive. I am also currently a graduate student, so I work while they work and I read while they read.

The biggest challenge for me in the homeschool experience is to avoid parenting, in the traditional nagging sense. Armed with agendas, dietary options, and daily goals, I have to give myself permission to let the kids thrive independently without constant reminders to complete tasks and cleanup. American children normally reside at home until they are 18-20 years old before moving out to pursue careers or college. Relishing in this time together has been a gift. While no home environment is perfect, this arrangement has been perfect for us.

Artists Create Art

Image was taken at the Louvre in Paris, 2018

Is it possible to see art and not feel the need to mimic it in some way?

For someone who’s handwriting looks like a lunatic doctor’s illegible monstrosity, consistent practice in the art of calligraphy has become a calming challenge over the years. Websites like https://www.pens.com/blog/handwriting-infographic/ exist to analyze handwriting structure to determine personality traits.

Practice in lettering allows my ridiculously poor penmanship to transform into something readable. However, when not concentrating on legibility, the printed characteristics allegedly convey a lot. Comparing my normal handwriting to the website’s map, I apparently like people, I’m open to new experiences, I’m detail oriented, intense, and committed. Also, because my signature is illegible, I can be hard to understand.

Likewise, I wonder if alternative types of art we choose to pursue might determine personality traits. Art is a fascinating subject, endless in its array of options: photography, painting, design, handwriting, music, dance, theatre, gardening, baking, etc. When I first left for an art college in Chicago to dance, I received a list of all the courses that were available as electives and wanted to try absolutely everything. As a dancer, ballet was my first love, but when the music changes, it can be fun to discover new movements too, including tap, jazz, modern, and everything in between. Over time, I’ve realized that artists don’t have to feel limited because creativity is part of who we are.

Hyper-creativity is the term to describe personalities that struggle when confined to a single outlet. The more time spent to observe and experience new ideas, the more doors open that might not have been available before. Art gives us a chance to let go of daily responsibilities and concentrate solely on creative distractions. When utilizing the right side of our brains, the dishes can be forgotten for a short time and we can release any inhibitions or stressors. Even now, I am sitting at the clerk of court office disputing a traffic violation, writing to stay calm. For anxiety, art is the answer.

My 12 year old son, Will is creative in completely different ways, constantly brainstorming new ideas and inventions, drawing comic books and making movies. Allowing kids time to become bored enough to explore is a virtue, rarely prevalent anymore when projects are spoon-fed. The art of boredom is the most important activity creative people require to let thoughts wander and congeal.

The creative mind is considered extroverted, as all art is meant to be shared. Yet, most creations are generally produced privately, requiring introverted tendencies. Sharing experiences might be the most challenging step for many artists because it requires adequate confidence to receive criticism. As a dancer, accepting regular criticism is second nature. I was once told that failing to acquire feedback during technique class shows a lack of effort. Learning to translate all criticisms to compliments was a game changer in my growth as an artist, becoming fearless to explore and share. While some judgements sound harsh, no one is more critical about my own art than me. A post popped up on my feed recently that read, “no one will talk to you more than yourself, so speak kindly.”

Illusions of Dreams (aka Goals)

My whole life I knew that I wanted to dance. Nothing beats the adrenaline rush of performing, regardless if it's rolling on stage with feathers falling from the rafters or frolicking through botanical gardens like a woodland fairy. Most of all, I love the mental challenge of understanding technique and enduring past the point of fatigue until the music ends.

As a kid, we were taught that we could be anything. My brother Erik, like me was blessed (or cursed) with endless natural energy. He tends to run around like a chicken with its head cut off because he literally can’t sit down. And when he does, he’s like a space cadet deep in thought, likely deliberating his next attack. For people with incessant enthusiasm, goals are a lifeline. Taking time to write both long term and short term goals allow us to direct energy, helping make positive influences on society instead of literally running in circles.

As humans it’s natural to never feel satisfied. We might eat tacos tonight, but what should we make tomorrow? Beyond the most obvious priorities, the list of goals changes as more tasks are completed.

I distinctly remember when I started to write lists at night. I’d wake up with a brain (hole) full of ideas, and there was no option other than writing them all down. Over the years goals have ranged from long term, like education and health, to short term, like interior design and holiday planning. Even when I weighed 115 pounds and performed regularly, research to maintain and tone felt necessary. Then as soon as that number increased, I’d read methods to lose weight. This obsession becomes especially challenging when physicality determines one’s ability to work.

At what point should we feel satisfied in our quest for self-improvement? I’m currently pursuing master’s degrees in dance education and nonprofit management, yet doctoral programs have magically emerged on the list as well. Do folks in retirement have peace of mind or are they booking every adventure and travel opportunity that presents itself? After all, curiosity and the quest for knowledge has allowed us to progress as a species.

As an adult, many of my long term goals have been met. I am married with kids. I own a house and a car. I'm pursuing a long term career. I have an education, faith in God, and enough means to afford eventful holidays. But now, it's up to me to lay the path for my kids and show them that I am not a disrespectful, lazy member of society so they might follow suit. We’ve taught our kids to eat healthily, speak kindly, and have a genuine interest for learning. We also load them with love and affection so they might reciprocate. (But this is all for another article).

With all that said, it’s easy to lose track of priorities and forget the common denominator. If the end goal is happiness, are we not happy now? Is satisfaction the same as happiness? I feel satisfied with the light fixture hanging in the foyer, but would prefer one without glass. There is no end to the ravenous desire for improvements. At the same time, remaining static is against our very nature.

So with that dear friends, I hope you’ve taken time while reading this neanderthal of a blog to consider your own dreams. Whatever your desires include, I hope they bring you a lifetime of happiness, if that is your goal.